I call postmaster general. only i’d refer to myself as ‘postmaster-p’, and make ’em say ‘uhhhhh’.

bill o’reilly, master of the enraged-spittle-fest shouting match “interview”, was profiled on 60 minutes last night. though it didn’t reveal anything new, it still reinforced the fact that o’reilly is a supreme tool. he does have thoughts of his own, apparently – he’s supposedly pro-choice, for gun control and against capital punishment like a damn liberal. but he stifles his own personal opinions to further the fox agenda. how he can consistently make up facts to back up his screaming rants and not be called out like jayson blair is a tribute to rupert murdoch’s reach.

…but apparently watching the daily show means you’re smart:

Young people who watched The Daily Show scored 48% correct on the campaign knowledge test while young people who did not watch any late-night comedy scored 39% correct.

apparently those ivy-leaguers at upenn didn’t realize that people who watch a predominantly politically-based ‘news’ show actually know about politics.

“The Daily Show segments are less likely than a Leno or Letterman joke to use a quick punch-line to make fun of a candidate,” said Young. “Instead, Stewart’s lengthier segments employ irony to explore policy issues, news events, and even the media’s coverage of the campaign.”

Leno and Letterman’s monologue jokes were more likely than The Daily Show to take aim specifically at Bush or Kerry. Of Leno’s 315 political jokes, 97 (31%) targeted Bush and 76 (24%) targeted Kerry. Of Letterman’s 136 political jokes, 20 (15%) targeted Bush and 21 (15%) targeted Kerry.

what? leno’s monologue talks about something other than j.lo and lindsay lohan? scandalous.

just remember, vote kerry or suffer the consequences.

* you must be a republican to apply.
I know, I know. you’re tired of hearing about the damn election. but how else can you hear about evil conspiracies?

Voters with active passports prefer Kerry 58% to 35%, while those without a passport are for Bush 48% to 39%.

go figure… people who actually care about what the rest of the world aren’t into randomly invading countries. they must be stopped from voting.

I have no idea who these ‘zogby’ people are, though; they could be swift boat veterans for all I know.

The precise number of people executed in China is a secret. Reports range from 5,000 to 10,000 a year, many for murder, but also for corruption and crimes as minor as bottom-pinching.

Legal experts have called for a “kill fewer, kill carefully” policy for non-violent crimes.

I suppose once your population threatens to overwhelm your infrastructure that this is a good thing? makes me wonder what those idiots who voted for lien “chairman mao thinks i’m pretty” chan were thinking. you want taiwan to be more like china? move back. don’t complain when your quality of life starts to suck.