suburban commando

I have now officially joined the ranks of the suburbanites. even though I was living in the most suburban of suburbs before (UA), I was merely a tenant. but no more. yesterday, I closed on a condo in the equally-suburban dublin. with 20% down, my dreams of owning an RV will have to wait for a few more years.

a word of advice for anyone who’s considering doing the same: relocation companies suck. the previous owner was transferred out of town, and had a relocation company acting on her behalf. let me tell you, they’re complete idiots. 10,000 monkeys on 10,000 typewriters could do a better job. or maybe that’s what they were… it was hard to tell with all the poo they were flinging.

I made an offer on the condo the day that it was listed, and my realtor informed me that it was accepted that same day. well, not according to the relocation company. they waited long enough (4 days) to let 2 higher offers through. I had put a clause in my original offer saying that I’d match and outbid competing offers if they came through before mine was accepted – with a deadline of 5PM. for example, if an offer from someone else was $100,000, my offer would extend to $100,500. kind of like ebay for houses. this was mostly because I was getting tired of properties going into contract on either the same day or day after being listed (I’d put a bid down on a slightly smaller place a few weeks before, only to find out someone had offered $5000 over the asking price), and also because I’m an ebay ninja. I like to snipe.

well, thanks to the relocation company’s incompetence, this meant one of two things:

1. I’d be paying more than the agreed amount, in order to match the other offers (even though my original offer was accepted), or
2. I’d have to start looking for another place, again.

4 days later, my realtor got a fax that had my name buried 3 pages in, saying my original offer had been accepted. thanks, guys. I could tell they were going to be a pain in the ass to deal with, and they more than lived up to it, dragging their feet at every step of the way. you’d think it would be in their best interest to process as quickly as possible to keep up their sales volume, but instead it felt like they were being paid by the hour to filibuster.

it’s been a busy 2 weeks. acceptance was may 31st, and to inspect, repair, secure a loan, and close within 15 days was pretty much crazy, especially when it typically takes a month or more.

anyway, now I have to figure out how to decorate the place. I’m thinking regal beagle with a touch of the max to bring things up-to-date…