it’s a gas gas gas

gas has hit $3/gallon here in columbus, beating estimates to the punch.

and despite the strategic petroleum reserve announcing a release of emergency rations, it could be 2 weeks before the dip in production is filled, and even longer before prices stabilize.

but this isn’t news to most of us. gas prices have been inching upwards for a long time now:

and no one can explain exactly why. sure, there are theories, but never any cold hard facts. until now. after countless months of research, I am ready to unveil my latest findings for review by the scientific community. here for the first time ever, is the revolutionary factor uniting the two:

as you can see, the price per gallon is inversely proportional to the popularity of the bland-yet-inoffensive feel-good band, hootie & the blowfish. today, they’re left with only a single fan: charles k. popovich, still enjoying “let her cry” on cassette. scientists have scientifically proven this fact. using science.

so please, help us all out and dust off that copy of fairweather johnson.